Tu es mon rayon de soleil...

Forward Motion

2009-07-03T22:59:00.008-06:00

I started reading a new book recently, "Reaching for an Invisible God", by Phillip Yancey.

While I don't entirely struggle with stuff he talks about--having faith in a God who is not tangible--I've been thinking about where exactly I am in my faith. Where I was 10 years ago. Where I was when I started college. And...now.

I haven't been to church in several weeks, but I'm going to change that this week. I want to be more faithful in my walk.

One thing that the book talks about is when bad stuff happens, where is God? Yancy uses a C.S. Lewis quote about pain, and how God uses it for good, even if He did not want the pain to happen (and there's the bigger question of free will, etc.).

I've been thinking about healing, and pain, and baggage I haven't really dealt with in my life. I have an avoiding personality--especially when it comes to getting hurt. I'm seeing more and more, though, that being vulnerable and open, while it may pose the risk of getting hurt, leads to healing. It also leads to deeper relationships. Another thing I'm not so great at.

I sat at a park bench when I was in KC tonight, for a good while, pondering these things. On my way to my car, I encountered an Asian man on a bench. He was wearing a City Mission t-shirt and was eating out of a lunch bag. We made eye contact, smiled, and I said a polite "Hi." He said something afterward, that I didn't catch, but then he said it again.

"We can talk if you want."

I thought that was very odd. Seeing as I don't typically talk with strangers (my parents actually strongly advised against it growing up), I said, "That's ok." And walked on.

Part of me wonders if I was going to get a sermon or if he saw something on my face that said I need someone to process life with. Just a very odd moment indeed.

"There's too many things I haven't done yet, there's too many sunsets I haven't seen."

2009-06-17T22:57:00.003-06:00

[title: "Many the Miles," Sara Bareilles]

So, although it was two weeks ago, the trip to Florida was great. I was able to properly maneuver my way around three airports, found ways to keep myself occupied for several hours in said airports, and didn't wreck the rental car. Score.

It was hotter than expected, and the humidity is something fierce in Central Florida. Ditto for summer rains. However, I was pleasantly surprised to pick up a copy of the newspaper my first night. It is very nice and I can see why it's held in such high regard in the community, especially to have such a high circulation.

I met several reporters, editors, and the publisher throughout my two days, and I enjoyed that. Although sometimes I feel funny for not having as many questions as I should (for the record, I did ask plenty of questions!), it is always interesting to me to hear of how people get to where they are, and to know a little bit more about people who could potentially be my bosses.

I even got to see Allison, my D.C. roommate, during a brief drop by Disney World's Downtown Disney. It was nice to catch up.

The title of my song actually came from an interesting moment on the return trip. I was sitting on the plane, thinking. Am I going to get the job? How is my life going to change? Will I be happy there? You know, all of the major life move questions.

I glanced out of my window (I always get the window seat if I can help it) and saw the sunset. Instantly the song popped into my head. I couldn't help but smile and feel God was winking at me.

The song has sort of been an anthem I've clung to post-graduation. It's about moving out into the world, saying goodbyes, but also maintaining strong ties to loved ones. The line, my title, got to me the first time I heard it. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I want to see and accomplish.

On good days, the world is my oyster. On bad days, I struggle with feeling stuck and wistful at the world speeding around me and slightly jealous of my friends' adventures around the world.

This felt like God was saying, "I know you have dreams, and trust me, you will have adventures."

I'm feeling better now about the questions...even if I don't get the job. I guess you just have to have faith and trust that God has something for you...even if you have no idea what that is.

I'm a new soul...

2009-05-30T22:29:00.011-06:00

[title: Yael Naim, "New Soul"]

So, I am now a college grad, hurrah!

Next step in life: obtain a job. Not just any old job, a journalism job. It can be done...I'm keeping faith, searching high and low, and interviewing.

The week after I graduated my sister graduated from high school and last week I went to my cousin's graduation.

Now that this month of graduations is over, I can devote my full energy into searching.

I actually have an amazing opportunity next week--a newspaper outside of Orlando is flying me out for a day of interviews. This is really exciting. We'll see how it turns out, but it's looking good. It will be a great way to break into journalism because it's a very solid area of newspaper readers.

One word explains much of that success: retirees.

The only demographic that heavily consumes dead tree journalism still is the main audience of the newspaper/media group.

I would not have anticipated Florida would be on my radar right now, but I'm all for new adventures.

And if you're like me you need hope, coffee, melody

2009-04-04T23:58:00.007-06:00

[title: New Day, Robbie Seay Band]

This song has been going through my head today...I need a new day. And it's good to remember that each day really is a gift. There is freedom in being able to do something new each day, to strike out in a new direction, etc.

Currently: I'm being buried under heaps of work...tomorrow I will have several hours to work on it, thankfully. So far plans include going to church early with a friend, for the first time in awhile. It's horrible, but true that I am a member of Bedside Baptist/Pillow Presbyterian often...but I want to do something different, though.

Hmm...I probably might have a chance at getting up early if I go to bed right now.
Au revoir.

I was your silver lining, but now I'm gold.

2009-04-02T23:12:00.002-06:00

[title: Silver Lining, by Rilo Kiley]

So, one of the two people I discussed previously and I are on talking terms, which really makes me happy. Things are back to normal, somewhat. Whew. Even when I know I'm right, I still hate not talking with people and disharmony. It just makes things awkward. Sometimes reading other people's minds would make things easier...

'Cause it's your life, and it's no one else's, sweetheart. Don't let someone put you in a box.

2009-04-01T21:39:00.004-06:00

[Title: Navy Taxi, Kate Nash]

I have a ton of thoughts rattling around in my head, so I feel compelled to return to blogging. At least for now. I'm trying to make sense of my world and I'm an external processor, so here goes.

This semester has been the craziest of my life. If last semester was stressful for academic reasons, this one is for personal reasons. I've cut personal/professional ties through various circumstances with two people who I've highly regarded for reasons I'll not go into.

This is a momentous occasion for me--I've never pissed off two people so much that they'd stop talking with me. It's uncharted territory, and it's confusing, but I'm standing in my decisions that have led to those situations...which makes me realize I have grown a lot as a person this past year.

Then comes the past week. My grandma died last Thursday. I found out last Wednesday that she was back in the hospital (after a month involving the ICU and a nursing home and spotty care there) then I drove out to Danville, Ill. from Olivet to see her/family.

Part of me knew I probably wouldn't make it, but I missed chapel and my Thursday classes, and when I arrived at the hospital I was a half-hour late. After failed attempts to reach my mom through my sister's cell, I called my other grandma's home phone. She broke the news. I called upstairs and readied myself (as much as possible) to see my family...and it was harder than I thought it would be. The grief was still very fresh.

Long story short, I spent the entire weekend leading up to the funeral Monday in Indiana-Illinois limbo.

I think this is enough for this post...but yeah. Just an update. I want to work through my grandma's death a bit here in upcoming posts.

Tout a l'heure.

I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground...

2008-11-09T03:26:00.002-06:00

My roommate pointed out to me today that I have not blogged in awhile. Part of this is because life has been insane in the last month.

For the past three weeks I've been booked solid, it seems. First was the week of the Homecoming issue (16-pager, a break from the usual 12 page paper).

Second came the week in which every minute of my life was taken by an extracurricular activity: Commies in Costume, ASC goes to the president's home, and the Candy and Costume Fest. Not to discount any of those activities--they were all great and are responsibilities I've taken on by being a part of student government and Lambda Pi Eta, the Comm. dept honor society.

But the one thing I've been really struggling with is keeping up with school. I've been putting so much effort into the GG that I find myself burned out on working on school work. I've put off my senior speech (which I'm just now catching up on) and have had to do a major time out on somethings so I can get that done. Life moves at breakneck-pace...and sometimes I wish it would just pause for a second. Unfortunately, unlike McCain's "timeout" for the economy, life doesn't work that way.

This past week has been especially rough. I found out that I'm not doing well academically (not really a revelation or anything) but I still have a lot of reasons to hope: major assignments due at the end of the semester will be my lifesaver I believe. Except I still have so much to do on some.

I told my News Editor Tracey that I feel this semester my classes are exceptionally needy--for one I have to devote a lot of time to collecting and editing audio and writing the story around it, for another I have made countless trips to county government buildings to FOIA things and request tax documents for random businesses, and for another I have a test/quiz/large chapter to read and journal on each week. On top of the stress of senior speeches. Last week I felt very in over my head, that's for sure.

So yeah. No new revelations for Mallo if she's reading this now, but for others who might care, this is life. Little sleep. Lots of work. Lots of freaking out. Not exactly the senior year I had imagined, so hopefully next semester is better. I think it will be.

Anywho.
Should go.
Ttyl.
Jess

Into the swing of things.

2008-09-25T20:35:00.002-06:00

Life has been really busy as of late. Busier than I expected, to be quite honest. Maybe I'll be able to give a better evaluation of the year when I feel like I've got more time...but I wanted to say that I'm still alive. That's a plus.

I'm learning new things every day...growing...and still seeing painfully obvious truths about myself that I need to change if I wish to graduate/make it through this year, academically. It's hard balancing everything and I have to admit that I'm not doing as well as I want to be this year. And I'm only taking 13 hours! Oy. It's just the first month of school, I keep telling myself...

Things learned senior year thus far:

Life is tough. Friends are amazing. God is still good. Even when I make stupid mistakes...

I'm learning a lot about mistakes--or just the fact that, newsflash, humans aren't perfect. It's frustrating but also pretty freeing. Maybe I'll talk about that later? I don't know.

Hasta la vista,

Jessica

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

2008-08-03T02:00:00.002-06:00

This week has turned out to be one of the best of the summer. It's sort of odd because it was pretty ordinary.

In the last week I:
-found out that I can move back August 17. I'm leaving the 15th and spending time with fam in Indiana.
-have been doing a lot of email correspondance for the GG.
-learned who the new adviser is for the GG
-spent quality time with Rachel, MNU's newspaper editor, and it was great to catch up.
-interviewed MNU's chaplain and got a new book [for free!], it's really good so far.
-learned my grade for the summer class I took.
-found out that I can drop a 7:30 am class. A-MAZING. I'm SO not a morning person.
-got my box from the CCCU with all my supplies for being a Best Semester Alumni Ambassador. woot.
-was asked to be a judge for ONU's Marketing office's "Most Interesting Olivetian" competition.
--
So, that's my week. A whole lot of excitement. And I didn't even have to leave my house for much of it. Before this summer, I probably wouldn't have seen it as interesting.
I think that the biggest thing I've learned since May is the importance of being content where you are. It's something I struggle with sometimes...if you know me well you might say that I'm restless.

This summer staying put has been out of financial necessity (gas prices+no regular job). And it has had its low points...especially not being able to see people and do things. Being stuck someplace has a way of making you a little upset and bitter, but I felt like this summer was the way it was for a reason--God is teaching me to find my contentness in Him, no matter the circumstance.

This reminds me of what Paul says in Phillipians 4:11-13. I like the Message version.

"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

Mamma Mia...Here I go again

2008-07-20T17:17:00.002-06:00

Hello. It's been awhile. Nothing much has happened since I've written last--just working at the post office and at the newspaper. All the articles I've been working on will be wrapped up tomorrow. Woot. Then life will be boring again.

Wednesday I've got an election worker training course and Aug. 5 I'll be working the election. That is pretty exciting. I'm sort of saddened that there is a new JoCo Election Commissioner. In high school, I volunteered to work the '04 primary and presidential elections and the woman who led the training sessions--Connie Schmidt--was a really nice lady. I actually interviewed her for one of my first newspaper stories. It was cool to do a story outside of school and act as and be treated like a professional journalist.

Otherwise...I'm just waiting around for August. Then all the really exciting things are happening: my 21st birthday (the 6th), friends from MNU returning to the area, going to Indiana to visit family and then going to school and starting a new year. I'll be seeing friends from last year and meeting loads of new freshman.

This is my last year. It's simultaneously weird and scary and exciting.

"My fourth quarter pipe dreams are seeming more and more worth fighting for."

2008-07-04T23:56:00.002-06:00

I got my rhetoric grade in this week. A-. I about keeled over when I saw that. It means a lot--I made the Dean's List for Spring, then. And my GPA didn't plummet any further. Fall, as I've mentioned, was a blip on my academic record. The work I've put into all my spring courses really paid off. So, if I continue to work hard next semester, I might be able to pull off a higher graduation honors level.

But anyways.

I've been feeling very artsy lately. I want to create something...but then I get frustrated in not knowing what. My old-fashioned camera is beckoning. Perhaps I should go out and take pictures. I miss that, a lot. Hm.

Lately, I've been thinking maybe I'm interested in doing radio journalism. I'm going to audit a class in radio announcing this fall so I can learn an audio editing program.

It's funny, I came to Olivet to specialize in print journalism. More and more I'm wanting to diversify, though! It all started with going into that nonlinear video editing class. Next I'm taking TV news. And now I'm venturing into radio. What can I say...media, in one form or another, is my calling.

It all is appealing, exciting and interesting to me. I love my major and minor and while other majors might interest me too, this definitely has enough variety to keep me occupied. :)

Whew.

2008-06-30T23:57:00.004-06:00

Media theory...is done. This is good. I can go back to reading for fun.

My movie theater job[/s-I applied at another place within the chain] really failed to materialize. So I'm just hanging around home. I've honestly gotten used to it...it's less bad than it was at the beginning of the summer.

I'm working at the post office again, and that's been pretty sweet. I got my first decent paycheck today, so that's uber exciting. That will be paying for gas to get back to Olivet and books. Woo!

Now that media theory is over I can focus my attention on the 6 stories I have due for the fair edition of the newspaper. Yes. 6. It'll be fun, I just need to start them. They were assigned back at the beginning of the month, but deadline isn't until July 21. I'm psyched to get some writing in this summer. New clips are something I can always use.

This is the summer of the odd job. My other odd job is working the election in August. It's a bit over $100 for a day, and it's super easy...not bad at all. I'm definitely going to try to work in the election this year in Bourbonnais, if I can.

Oh school...I'm def ready to be back at Olivet. Classes. Friends. The GlimmerGlass...! It's going to be a challenge to be exec editor, but I'm really looking forward to all the things we can do to improve...and new fun internet things we can add. That's what I'd like to see improve. :)

But anyways. I should go to bed...I went to bed at 3:30 last night and woke up at 8...not fun.
Goodnight!
Jess

Yawn.

2008-06-10T21:01:00.002-06:00

So...life...is boring. But, some good things are going on. I've been able to see friends marry. I've been picking up hours at the post office for the past two weeks. I've been getting back into the Word. I've been running more. I've been living online a lot less--I've cut back on AIM and have stopped posting on another blog daily.

I'm seeing room for improvement and taking all this time on my hands and figuring maybe I can put it to good use.

I started Media Theory last week. I wish I had taken it last Fall...it seems like a subject that would be better studied with group discussion. Shoot. Oh well. Three more tests and a research paper.

While it's not fun being at home all the time...maybe it's for the best, financially. Currently, I am still completely and utterly broke. The movie theater never called me back to come in and sign things. I'm calling tomorrow.

Hm.
So...that's all, I guess...
Goodnight.

Stop the press...

2008-05-30T23:54:00.004-06:00

WalMart is out. I'll be working at my first job, the movie theater, this summer. On top of freelancing for a newspaper and MNU. My boss at MNU said he has a few more dates for me, so that is good, I guess. As long as that doesn't conflict with the job at the theater.

Media Theory starts Monday...I think. I've been skimming the book and I'm really excited about it.

Still haven't heard anything on my rhetoric grade. Hopefully I will soon, but I'm not counting on it.

And, I'm going to yet another wedding (third of the season) tomorrow, in Omaha. It'll be a nice drive.

Anywho. Beyond that life is pretty unexciting. I'm taking up jogging. And researching online journalism. That's it though. I'm so ready to have a regular job and paychecks...then I won't feel like such a bump on a log.

2008-05-23T22:49:00.002-06:00

I got the WalMart job. I'm hoping enthusiasm and optimism can balance out the negatives of working with people--namely extremely mean or rude people. We'll see. At the least, it's less than three months. At the most, it pays decently and I'll have a regular job. Two pluses. I was really glad to hear from my boss at MNU that he could use me for a few shifts here and there. It equals about 2 weeks so that is great.

I still feel like I should be working on my writing though. I have to make the most out of the few stories I'll be getting at the end of the summer at the county fair.

On the topic of my reading list, or the deviation from it, I finished The Chronicles of Narnia this week. I really liked the series, and re-reading it.

Now I'm going to read a magazine and go to bed...one of my roommates from freshman year is getting married tomorrow. Wow. Of my group of friends from that year, two are married (after Amy gets married tomorrow) and one is seriously dating. And I...am a work in progress? I don't know. I don't forsee marriage anytime soon in my future and am coming to terms with that...well, at least I've been working on being happy for where I am, rather than where I am not.

Goodnight!
Jessica

Deviating from my reading list...

2008-05-19T23:43:00.003-06:00

So! I finished "How We Are Hungry" and now I'm already deviating from the list by reading some of the Chronicles of Narnia series. So far I've gotten through The Horse and His Boy and Prince Caspian. I saw the movie (Prince Caspian) and it made me interested in reading on.

At some point in my childhood, I had listened to the series (I don't remember if I had heard all of the books, or a few) and a few years ago I got the whole series as a gift. Little by little, I've been reading through them again.

I have to say that I love C.S. Lewis' writing. The series is so rich in symbolism and it's cool to think about where characters and situations and everything are ultimately getting at. Even though Lewis said the series wasn't allegorical, it's hard to read without finding parts that sound like you are reading an apologetics book.

I also have a great update--I have a job interview tomorrow. While you may laugh that it's at WalMart, at this point in time I'm over that. I just need something to appease my parents. Pretty much any position offering money and hours will do. I might even be overly ambitious and pick up an internship (unpaid) in KC for the NPR station, working on local radio things. That'd be cool even if it were two days a week.

-Jessica

"She found comfort in the nuances between a goal finished, accomplished, and a goal adjusted."

2008-05-15T22:47:00.009-06:00

"For so many years she has been doing everything within her power to finish but again and again she has pulled up short, and has been content for having tried. She found comfort in the nuances between success and failure, between a goal finished, accomplished, and a goal adjusted."

-Dave Eggers in the short story "Up the Mountain Coming Down Slowly" in "How We are Hungry"

I love it when you read something and it just totally clicks. That is something that I love about fiction, truly good fiction--it is able to connect in such ways; it is able to tell you something about the human condition in a way you maybe have not thought about it before, or helps you see things you haven't seen before.

I can identify with Rita, the protagonist of this story whom the passage is describing, in getting so far only to re-adjust an initial goal. In the story, she goes on a trip to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and is bitter because she is alone and didn't want to go. Her sister bought the trip for the two of them and ended up pregnant. She gets so close to the summit, and nearly decides not to go the full trip to the top. The whole trip she has an inner battle going on between finishing or quitting. At the end, she summits.

I understand the goal adjustment...my academic track record can attest to that. I'm an A student who tends to get more Bs than As. I have a decent GPA and will probably graduate with some honors...but I know I don't work hard enough. Last year this has become really obvious...with more difficult classwork especially. Part of this is the fact that I'm a great procrastinater.

Slate.com recently put out a special issue on the topic of procrastination, which was pretty interesting.

I believe it's getting better though. Last semester my grades were much better than fall (we'll see for rhetoric though. I'm hoping that the rhet crit doesn't give me my first C in college, which it could...).

But anyways, I guess this is all to say that I want to make a goal for next year. I want to attain a GPA above 3.7 for the last two semesters of college. I don't want to re-adjust this goal--I want to do it because I'm very capable of it.

I'm putting it in type, so that makes it official. Maybe it will be even more official if I facebook this. Hm.

I will give more updates throughout the summer on the reading list. I'm almost finished with "How We Are Hungry." Woohoo!
-Jessica

Summer Reading List 2008.

2008-05-11T22:04:00.004-06:00

I think this is going to be my list...or at least it's a start.

1. ~~How We are Hungry~~ (deadline: before Libby leaves for SoDak.)
2. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
3. 1984
4. Velvet Elvis
5. Words in a French Life
6. Amusing Ourselves to Death
7. Life Together
8. On the Road
9. Forever
10. The Irresistable Revolution
11. ~~The Chronicles of Narnia~~ (yes, I read them in the wrong order. Oops. Big deal. Apparently this is a big controversy though.)
12. ~~Boomsday~~

I'm starting with these, we'll see how long it takes me to get through them. :)
And is it cheating if I've already started several of them? I just want to finish...hah. I started 1984 last August but haven't finished yet. I think that summer is perfect for catching up though.

Summer.

2008-05-09T22:38:00.003-06:00

It's hard to believe that a whole year has gone by so quickly. I'm a senior. I'm going to be newspaper editor next year. I'm in Illinois. I'm graduating from Olivet. Normally life is going too fast to actually take these things in and just comprehend them.

Anyways. I'm liking the idea of a slow summer. So far, I've been at my grandparents' house in Indiana for a few days and I just got home Wednesday. I'm in the process of finishing that 25 page rhetoric paper. 10 pages down. 15 to go. I'm taking media theory this summer and working part time (ish?) with a local newspaper.

I think I might write up a reading list for what I want to get through this summer. Hmm. Sounds like a good idea.

finals week...

2007-12-16T19:29:00.000-06:00

and I'm almost done!
only two more:
-journalism editing (tomorrow)
-advanced pub speaking (tuesday)

and then I'm off to Kansas!
Home!
yay.

But anyways. I'm plotting an 'unpacking' blog sometime in the near future...both mentally unpacking the past year and also the past semester...it's been a crazy year but such is life.

I'm so ready for this semester to be over with and to be at home! I'm missing the JoCo and am sad that our break is only two and a half weeks. MNU's is a month. That sucks.

But anywho. I'm ready for a change of pace for a bit, Christmas, home, friends, family, etc.

so yeah. I'm pretty much boring and procrastinating right now. so I should probably stop typing now. haha.
tout a l'heure.
Jessica

Olivet part deux

2007-10-26T15:16:00.000-06:00

So...it's been another month!
This has become a monthly blog, apparently.

Nothing much that is noteworthy has happened in the last month. I've given speeches, written for the glimmerglass, done daily homework junk, etc. It's becoming monotonous it seems...I'm getting to the part of the semester where I have a mid-semester crisis of apathy from the sheer boredom with the routine of class/daily busy work.

Speech is going really well. I'm going to give a "speech on a speech" Tuesday...and I've memorized a three and a half minute section of a famous speech. Mine is Elizabeth Cady Stanton's "The Solitude of Self." Great speech. It gives me a newfound appreciation for the feminists of the 19th century...I would not be sitting in this dorm room, able to vote, etc. had it not been for their efforts to change public opinion. It's very inspiring.

Got to go "home" last weekend. That being my grandparents in Indiana. A second home of sorts. It was great to be able to catch up a bit with everyone. I've never been able to just say "hey, I'm going to see my cousins" before now. It's a two hour drive, but it didn't seem bad at all. I got to see a great number of aunts/uncles/cousins, and my grandparents. It was a good weekend.

Many of the Spring WJC crew are in DC this week for a big journalism conference...which makes me a litttle sad that I couldn't be there. I don't know when I'm going to get to see all those people in the same place again...probably not unless we have a reunion or something. Everyone is in far-flung places across the U.S.

I need to start filling out scholarship applications and internship apps too.

internships on the radar:
-American Soc. of Magazine Editors (write for some mag. in NYC or DC)
-Associated Press KC bureau probably
-KC Star
-?
we'll see. I'm still searching for ones I could do. I'm interested in looking for a copy-editing one too. we'll see?

here

2007-09-17T22:59:00.000-06:00

it's been a long time, but I'm here at Olivet. academically, everything has been really great. except my adv. speech class. yuck...I have to give an impromptu tomorrow and I'm not at all looking forward to it.

the only thing that I really didn't think about much was how different the social atmosphere is from MNU. There it's easy to meet new people because the campus is so much smaller, whereas here, with the extra 3,000 students, people seem like they are less apt to expand their social circles.

I do have a pretty awesome roommate, though, who really has made a lot of effort to get me in with her friends. They all live on my floor, too, so that has been really good. It's hard meeting people for me when there are SO many people here, though.

BUT. I do like how this place feels like a college, and has the whole 'tiger dollars' thing...
and two nearby coffee shops that stay open till 12. that is really awesome.

but anyways. I'm procrastinating right now and should get to my homework.
hm.

g'night.
Jessica

well, it's for sure.

2007-08-16T15:47:00.000-06:00

I'm transferring to Olivet this fall. Which is probably ranking at the top of most crazy things I've done list.

I think I've got all of the initial stuff done--I'm pre-registered and I have a roommate, anyways.

This is exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. I really am going to miss MNU's people though, as cheesy as that might sound. For a long time, MNU has been my home (or home away from home as a commuter), but it's time to leave and grow and experience new things.

I've heard from quite a few people that Olivet has a totally different atmosphere than MNU, and people aren't as outgoing. Hopefully I still am able to meet a lot of new people. I like knowing everyone and it's easy to do that at MNU because there are only around 1500 undergrad students, if that.

I've already met my roommate (sorta, online) and she seems nice. I find it funny that she's added me to her top friends list. ha. we're going to talk tomorrow to figure out logistical things concerning our room. Part of me is not too thrilled to be living in the dorm (in comparison with MNU the rooms are smaller, older and uncarpeted), but I'll manage! I will meet a few people that way, at least.

Hm.
well I'll keep this updated. or try to. :D

au revoir!
JShu

ahhhhhh.

2007-07-28T21:01:00.000-06:00

life...has been incredibly busy as of late.

last week I had a ton of newspaper stuff and was basically on call all weekend...literally! I called a slew of people and was confined to my house to be there for the responses. at least I had Harry Potter on hand. I liked the ending, by the way. I finished it the day after it was released (last Sunday) and my dad basically stayed up all night reading it and finished the day it came out.

Then comes the post office. I'm really ready for my boss to get back. So I can have some shorter days. I was supposed to (still am, actually) be meeting the city administrator for my newspaper job and haven't been able to because I have to work ALL DAY. 8-4:30. there's no flexibility when I'm the only person who knows how to do half the things in there. and I don't really know it all, either. I think that he might be back Monday. Not really sure though.

bah.
oh well. I think I can actually do it Thursday morning...I have Thursday and Friday off, then my birthday the following Monday. I'm trekking out to Illinois with my mom and sister for a campus visit.

Which brings me to say that this may result in a transfer. Olivet. Yes, I'm serious. And no, this isn't a irrational decision. This isn't the first time I've thought about transfering, just the first time that I'm feeling strongly enough about it. I love MNU, but it doesn't make sense to be somewhere where I'm not learning what I want to be learning, in DEPTH.

so yeah. I just have three more days of meters, stamps, UPS and sending school documents to international students via DHL...and then a five day weekend, and, to top it off, my twentieth birthday. this is a good thing.

2007-07-12T20:49:00.000-06:00

I love Kansas City.

Sometimes I genuinely think that I was not meant to be a country girl or suburbanite. I just like city life.

The other day I ran into a former pastor, who now is the head pastor of My Father's House, a church/ministry that my church sponsered (a church plant). He was in DC last week speaking at a conference on the topic of rural homelessness. I'm glad I got to run into him. MFH is doing some pretty awesome things these days.

well I'll go. ttyl. :)
Jessica

[Summer in the city, I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely...]

2007-07-07T22:52:00.000-06:00

I hope Frank from postsecret.com is still alive. he's not updated the site in nearly two weeks. hm. tres etrange.

like my facebook status says, I am missing interaction with people other than my fam and people I work with. but seriously. I always feel like I'm the loser with no plans. Ever.
I have no social life.

anyways. my birthday is in less than a month. that is mildly exciting, but I'm sure it won't be anything too special.

harry potter #5 is coming out this week. that is really exciting. I'm going to avoid the theater like the plague until the weekend, then go to a late showing. then the book comes out the following week. I pre-ordered it awhile ago.

basically nothing new to update besides that...I've gotten a few articles published in the paper. This week I've got two stories due Tues.-one a school board meeting, my first-and I'm covering a city council meeting Thurs. then I'm doing the 8-4:30 thing every day also, but life at MNU is not very exciting right now. most of the departments are closed.

just another day in paradise

2007-06-29T20:59:00.000-06:00

hola. how is it June 29th already?! I would like to know...

my life is becoming a blur of work. which I don't mind. it's better than the alternative--not making any money and being a couch potato. I'm kinda nervous, though, because my boss is pretty much taking off all of July and I'm his stand-in. I know all of the opening/closing duties, and how to work the register, but I'm a little bit phased by the immensity and complexity of the UPS/USPS system and every type of mailings they entail. Media mail? Library Mail? First Class? Flat? Parcel? International? (Actually, I do know what these entail, just pointing out all of the different rates!)

But I do get an underling to help during this time, which is fun. Melissa was in a lot of my classes freshmen year and she'll be fun to work with. I get to train her next week.

I covered my first city council meeting last night, which was kind of exciting. I sat in a chair with a "Press Only" sign on it, met with members, and got to look important. I felt a bit underdressed, as most people in the room were in suits, and I was in a shirt (not screen printed, just plain pink) and jeans. I should ask my editor their dress code policy...to be sure that jeans are okay or if they are just too unprofessional.

So I'm taking a break from writing the story right now, and I'm halfway through. It's going quite well actually. A lot of the background is in the agenda, which is immensely helpful for setting up context for what happened in the case of something that was denied. Although I was originally horrified by the 200-page document, now it is a great tool.

On another note, I am looking into something big for next year. I know it will be difficult to possibly be going in another direction, but I think it would be great to learn more about something I'd like to do. I know that is incredibly vague...but just pray for me as I make some decisions coming up. There are some people I'd like to get in touch with regarding this, but they all seem to be out of the country at the moment...or just out of reach of the internet/cell phone towers.

are you looking for an answer? because I could really use a friend tonight...

2007-06-20T19:37:00.000-06:00

xanga is down. so I'll write here. I went to a city council meeting to observe and was really really surprised with how quickly it went. It was no longer than 50 minutes. In DC, at ANC meetings the minimum is 2 hours...so yeah. apparently there weren't any super-controversial things going on that would warrant a longer meeting. I'm kinda nervous about covering the meeting next week, but I know it will go well. I do need to buy a voice recorder, though. My old one sort of died...

my friend Leslie moved this week, which is really sad. She is now in Oklahoma for her newspaper job. I'm kinda sad that I won't be able to have adventures with her for awhile. I am really thankful that I've really gotten to hang out with her and get to know her better since Freshman year. She was my producer in TV class, and then we went to Europe and had our 'getting separated from the group' in Paris fun.

That was, hands-down, the craziest day of my life, that day in Paris. Luckily, given my map and metro skills, we weren't lost, just separated. That happened because we were taking pictures (against the rules, we were sneaky) in Sacre Coeur. We tried to find everyone, but didn't find them in Monmartre, so we went out to find the Moulin Rouge, and headed over to the Louvre and somehow managed to meet up with everyone else in the group there. Then we did a quick tour, left, ran into some extremely sloshed British Arsenal fans near our hotel near the Gare Du Nord (they came directly from the chunnel to the first bar they found and started drinking and cheering...) and the rest is history. :)

ttyl

Jess

I see a little silhouetto of a man...

2007-06-15T21:34:00.000-06:00

tonight I listened to Queen's greatest hits on the drive home. I don't know what it is about them, but I love it.

today was really good. work=good.

at lunch I headed over to Applebees and into an interview. I was expecting it to be more casual and just one on one but the managing editor ended up bringing the news editor and it was more of an interview. boy am I glad that I brought my resume, references, samples.
the only question that I didn't know how to answer is what %age of my work was edited last semester.

I think it's funny that so far, in talking with journalists, and also talking with editors, I get the question of "why do you want to go into this field?" I always say something about how I like writing, talking to people, and I'm nosy and like getting to the bottom of things. I think that answer was satisfactory--they liked my samples and...

I got a job! that pays! my first newspaper job. super-exciting! I'm going to cover hard news stories like city council/school board news for two cities. Both are a part of a 'family' of papers--that is that they both operate out of one building but cover two towns. kinda like the Current Newspapers in DC.

The editors told me I should get in contact with various heads of my city's politics--city admin., police chief, school board superintendent, and he listed off the names and most of them I've known since I was a kid. That's a really cool thing, I think. I'm psyched. It's cool to cover *my* hometown.

and SOAR went swimmingly. Most of the freshmen overcame their first challenge at MNU--opening their mailboxes. it reminds me of my freshman year. I couldn't open my box the first time I tried...it took a bit to get it. I helped setup/teardown/route people to the correct food line/sliced pie/ate said pie and it was good. I think it's funny how the parent's had a Q&A session and a Q that was asked was about should students buy books online. they said that it can be a hassle to do so and may be more expensive if you get the wrong edition, etc, and I had to think to myself, only Freshman buy books at the bookstore. after they try to sell their books back at the end of first semester, unsuccessfully, (because there are 500 other freshmen taking Old Testament and New Testament and they don't buy back every book) they'll be jaded for the rest of their student career. (or at least I was)
well I should go. goodnight. tomorrow I help at 8am. yikes. I will need to get some coffee somewhere. maybe the new quicktrip! :)

Jessica

Summer in the city...

2007-06-07T21:20:00.000-06:00

Well it's been awhile. Last week my friend Leslie and I explored the area of KC known as Midtown and had a pretty good time. There are so many cool places off of 39th St in particular, near KU Med Center. I've fallen in love with used bookstores (or would the proper way of saying that be used book stores?). We went to Prosperos, which hit national news recently (CNN.com, AP I think, and the Colbert Report last night) for burning books as a statement that our society doesn't care about reading anymore. I really enjoyed it.

I miss urban living, I really do. Kansas City is pushing towards light rail and possibly commuter trains (a milestone for this area) and I plan to attend a meeting on this soon. I want to be involved with this, civically. We need mass transit in the metro, because the Jo isn't doing it. It has basically a one-way route into the city and out, from 5-7am and 5-7pm. I can't say much about the bus system in KC but I've heard it's not that great.

But anyways. I'm sure you've heard about Kelsey Smith on the news...this is really awful. It's hard to believe that this happened in Kansas, let alone near the mall I was alone at last Thursday. I just am shocked that it all happened in broad daylight. And the guy they've got arrested is from Olathe. He lives within 20 minutes of my house.

What is also sad is how there was a similar disappearance in Missouri (in the KC metro area, I forget where from) but that girl's ordeal was just a blip on the radar screen when it came to media attention. This is received national attention. I watched the press conference last night at 11:30 and it was interesting listening to the reporters...you could tell who the bigwig was in the room. or at least who sounded the most like they'd be a big city-national correspondant type person.

still. pray for the Smith family/friends. I can't even imagine the grief they are going through right now.

in other news, I may have found a part time or freelancing position with a very local newspaper in the small town I went to high school in! I'm meeting with the managing editor for lunch next week. we'll see what happens! I've not heard anything from the Star after submitting examples of work and other important info to get a freelancing contract set up.

2007-05-30T21:38:00.000-06:00

it rained today. a lot. it was a veritable downpour. I saw somewhere online that someone said it was "raining small children." hehe.

so I, naturally, got into my pjs when I got home and have been curled under covers ever since reading one of my two new books.

the fam is watching A Good Year, a Russell Crowe movie in which he is a greedy investment banker person who inherits an estate in Provence, a region of Southern France, and wants to sell it, but has a change of heart. It's good and quite funny. and has the "itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini" song on it en Francais (in French).

since I feel like I'm super lazy for having one job that doesn't monopolize my time much, I'm going to try to fill that void of time between 5:00-bed by attempting to get a job at Christian Book & Gift in O-Town. they are looking for cashiers, and I can definitely do that job. plus the extra money won't hurt.

the one thing I've been somewhat disappointed in is that I've hardly seen my friends this summer. I take the blame in some cases, but I hate doing all the work sometimes. It's sad that I can feel more connected to some people 1000 miles away than when I'm 10-30 minutes away from them.

I do get to hang out with Leslie again this weekend (it's already been a month since last time!), which will be fun. We're going to First Friday and if it rains, we'll probably end up at the Sleeping at Last show. they are a really good band.

"They don't laugh at jokes...they laugh at tragedies"

2007-05-27T21:38:00.000-06:00

Well. Not much to say. Tonight I saw that my friend Nick joined the world of blogspot, and I checked out his layout and realized that it was a picture of Stanton Park! We walked through that park every day this past semester that we went to class. I remember the first time we went to class, when Karan drove us, that she was surprised that I knew the name of the park. She said that many residents of Capitol Hill don't even know the name of it.

I miss D.C. I really miss my D.C. roommates. I miss being in a bubble in which people care about politics. Last week I went to Borders and stood in the magazine aisle, perusing news magazines, like Sojourners and another one that had a big article on the history of D.C.'s city plan by L'Enfant, and this lady with her two kids comes up, grabs the People magazine (which doesn't belong in the news aisle with Time and Newsweek, I would say) and makes a remark about Paris Hilton's latest pickle and tells her child to put up his book because, by golly, she has GOT to read about this, and her priority is reading the latest celeb news.

this is the summer of improvements for me...I'm going to try to work on a lot of things personally, and one thing that I really want to work at is to become a better informed person. It's hard sometimes, to overlook my own interests and "Daily Me" attitude of picking and choosing (like bypassing a story on Gonzales for the Travel section), but I am going to try to tune into NPR a bit more (podcasts probably), watch BBC news on PBS (they have amazing international coverage), and check into the newspapers more.

I'm reading Tuned Out, a book that I didn't really get into a lot last semester, and it has a lot of really interesting things to say about the disconnect between young people and the news. I found it so interesting that the author quotes this person who says that living in the suburbs is akin to isolation and getting away from the world. I'd never thought of it that way. The longer I'm here in KS, I'm realizing that I want to be a city dweller. It's just more interesting, and the community and civic aspect is really appealing to me. I'm sick of cookie cutter houses, applebees, and the same ol', same ol'. give me variety! give me some excitement! life is too short to be on the fringe of where things are going on, disconnected from it.

behind my neuroses...

2007-05-24T20:29:00.000-06:00

Today it dawned on me.
I am just like my mother.
Or at least when it comes to planning, that is. She does the bills and she has a schedule of each payment on each card, she keeps track of every penny. She also is a huge planner, which is where I get that from. This segways into my next thought, something that I've thought about and really want to do. It requires lots of planning, especially financially, but I really want to do this.

The goal? set aside $50 a month from now, May 2007, until May 2012. this will total about $3,000.

why? the London Olympics.

yes, I know the tickets don't go on sale until 2011, which is four years from now. I don't even know where I'll be in four years. But it would be a pretty amazing experience. I just realized that the CCCU rents out housing during the summer too...and they have an Oxford program. I still haven't seen Oxford, so that could be pretty cool. Although it's right in about the same time as Paris' 'vacances' where everyone flees the city for the country, it could be cool to go there again as well.

anyways. I'll go. maybe I'll be a sports photographer by then and can get into the games with a press pass. ;)

Unpacking...still.

2007-05-20T21:40:00.000-06:00

Although the boxes and suitcases have been put away, I'm slightly ashamed to say that my post-DC packing still is basically sitting at the end of my bed. I have a few clothes piles and newspaper piles to sort through and put away. It serves as a nice parallel to unpacking mentally the past three months of experiences.

While it's hard to believe I've been home for three weeks, I really have come to an appreciation of Kansas. I've learned to appreciate open space, prairie, and blue skies, where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day, that sort of thing. (Home on the Range is our state song.) :)

Driving is nice, despite the fact that I now have to pay attention to gas prices (which just hit 3.40/gallon here).

It's weird when people ask me "How was DC?" because it's such a broad subject. When I got back my French prof (who knows Jana's advisor, can someone cue "It's a Small World"?) said that it must be a difficult question to answer, and wondered if I responded "do you have a minute or an hour?" Which is funny. I can rattle off a quick summary, but the first night I was back I had a wonderful discussion about DC government, politics, and such with some good friends and it was great.

I can generally tell I am talking too much when people get the glazed-over look and become distracted...

I wish more people would poke out of their comfortable little bubbles at school. While I can see that a lot of people can't fit these experiences in just for time (like my nursing or education major friends), I think that it does us more good to venture out, see the world beyond our neighborhood, and to come back with the knowledge of what is out there. How can we be salt and light to the world, when we don't even interact with it? But that's another topic, and I'm alrightly slightly losing my train of thought.

ttyl.

Yeah, I'm a pajama blogger. :)

2007-05-16T19:56:00.000-06:00

This week is going by quickly...which is good. I'm looking forward to May 31st, because I'm pretty broke. Actually, dangerously broke. I overdrew my account, but, amazingly enough I put the $12 of change from last semester in my checking account today while I was still in the grace period of that. whew. that was too close of a call. I need to keep better track of my money this summer, and budget. oy.

I'm feeling a lot better about life. I must just have had a bad day? I don't know. It's been rainy here so I blame my mood on that...

I'm going to stay in my design classes next semester, as planned, and see what I think. If they work out, great, I'll be able to work French in too. If they don't, I get to load my schedule with electives because I'm still sticking around for two more years, due to class requirements changing on me.

In the meantime, I need to practice les Francais. Beaucoup. Basically not taking it a semester really makes me rusty on verb tenses and conjugating is difficult! C'est vrai. I have a workbook I can work on though. I'm adding this to the things I want to accomplish this summer, including tackling a large reading list. Yay for public libraries. I have already placed holds on 4 or so different books. I really want to read Orthodoxy, by G.K. Chesterton.

Tmatt, you're out there, what is a "must-read" book?

I'm on a reading kick now, since I have some free time outside of work. :)

So tell me, what does the future have in store?

2007-05-14T16:52:00.000-06:00

I don't know, truly. I've been thinking and reflecting a lot recently. When it comes down to it, I really do like journalism. I like getting the story and I like how interviews and asking right questions lead to a story that writes itself sometimes. I do need help with my reporting though. And I need a lot more self-confidence...which has been lacking as of late. One thing that is hard is that I am reserved. I have to push myself to talk to people--which probably isn't a good sign if journalism REQUIRES to be in touch with people. I don't know what my deal is.

I'm kind of in a funk right now, actually.

Reaching my junior year, I realize that I need to A) pick up a minor or B) fill my schedule with 20-some hours of random classes. I had initially thought the way to go would be to minor in graphic design, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it's for me. I can be creative when it comes to words, but I am not sure about layout/design. The only thing I've ever done before was photography! I do a bit of page layout for newspaper, though. I like the idea of design, but I'm unsure if I'm able to do it, and if I would waste a semester if I took basic design/drawing.

My plan "B" so to speak is to try to do a French "minor". I put it in quotes because my school doesn't have the minor, but it has a world languages sort of minor that includes language classes with an immersion experience opportunity. Basically, this would enable me to go further with my French (which would kick my butt academically but I LOVE this language) and I would be able to become fluent that way. If my parents don't disapprove, I'd really love to do an 8-week program in Paris (or France) and do immersion there. It's really not that bad, the only thing is living expenses/traveling for the 8-week course. But how amazing would that be, spending 8 weeks in France? I would die. MDR! (to die of laughing, the French LOL).

Anyways.
Choices are there. I just have to make decisions. I'm looking towards plan B. More loans. Bah. But seriously, having another language is pretty good. I hate the pressure to have to have my whole life all together. I'm not even 20 yet. Good grief.

2007-05-05T20:26:00.000-06:00

DC Update

2007-03-12T00:19:00.000-06:00

WOW!
I finally was able to remember my dang email I signed up for this thing with. woo!
expect more posts when it's not 2am...yikes. goodnight!

-Jessica

Hello, blogger...

2007-01-04T22:28:00.000-06:00

Hey!
So I already blog on xanga and sometimes myspace, and only set this up to comment on others' blogs here...so yeah!
I'm Jessica.
Hello.
:)