Forward Motion

I started reading a new book recently, "Reaching for an Invisible God", by Phillip Yancey.

While I don't entirely struggle with stuff he talks about--having faith in a God who is not tangible--I've been thinking about where exactly I am in my faith. Where I was 10 years ago. Where I was when I started college. And...now.

I haven't been to church in several weeks, but I'm going to change that this week. I want to be more faithful in my walk.

One thing that the book talks about is when bad stuff happens, where is God? Yancy uses a C.S. Lewis quote about pain, and how God uses it for good, even if He did not want the pain to happen (and there's the bigger question of free will, etc.).

I've been thinking about healing, and pain, and baggage I haven't really dealt with in my life. I have an avoiding personality--especially when it comes to getting hurt. I'm seeing more and more, though, that being vulnerable and open, while it may pose the risk of getting hurt, leads to healing. It also leads to deeper relationships. Another thing I'm not so great at.

I sat at a park bench when I was in KC tonight, for a good while, pondering these things. On my way to my car, I encountered an Asian man on a bench. He was wearing a City Mission t-shirt and was eating out of a lunch bag. We made eye contact, smiled, and I said a polite "Hi." He said something afterward, that I didn't catch, but then he said it again.

"We can talk if you want."

I thought that was very odd. Seeing as I don't typically talk with strangers (my parents actually strongly advised against it growing up), I said, "That's ok." And walked on.

Part of me wonders if I was going to get a sermon or if he saw something on my face that said I need someone to process life with. Just a very odd moment indeed.